Falling Back in Love with My Kid

As printed in My Village News January 2021.

I needed this summer break to fall back in love. Somewhere between the Easter lockdown and a restricted Christmas I had lost the fun. I had forgotten the feeling of what it’s like to be truly in love with my kid.

Through 2020 I’d simply upheld the duty of motherhood. My days were checked off, tasks accomplished, heavy foot trudged in front of heavy foot to get through a year most of us wish to forget.

The holidays have helped me shake off my 2020 view that parenting is 99% burden and realise it can be at least 50% unbridled joy. Kids really do make small moments better I just have to remind my adult brain to allow mine to. From an awestruck Christmas morning in all it’s magic, to just eating ice cream anywhere at anytime and boat rides, bus rides or train rides. Even watching a train pass by the window. If I notice, my daughter is always trying to coax out my child self and invite me to the wonder of now.

It helps too she’s almost three years old. She has fewer bodily demands of me and now wants me to play or check out a cool thing she’s noticed.

Matilda can still throw a heck of a tantrum though don’t get me wrong. She can have days where she frustrates me to no end, especially when she’s not listening in those life or death “get off the road” situations. Regardless I’m trying to develop a brighter mindset going into 2021.

I can be prone to having a snappy, cynical attitude but something I read recently is helping me out of it. “Remember to assume best intentions”, the writer said. “For me, it’s easier to interact with other humans when my baseline assumption is that they’re guided by good intentions. This reminder has allowed me to extend more empathy and understanding toward others and myself.”

Now I too have started believing people who cross my path in a day actually have good intentions and I have noticed my attitude driving the car, queuing in stores, wandering down choked supermarket isles can uptick in an instant. Here’s to a gentler year for all of us.