The End of Toddler Tantrums
As printed in My Village News February 2021.
Something eerie happened this summer - my toddler became cooperative. It happened one regular morning as we were trying to get out the door quickly. As usual little miss was lagging behind when I asked her to stop playing and put her shoes on she casually replied, “Okay Mummy.” No resistance. I almost fell to the floor.
Our daughter turns three this month and like a storm suddenly passing she has gone from reacting with irrational tantrums 100% of the time to now 50% or less. It has made me realise just how terrible the twos actually were for us. From biting, hitting, kicking, to tantrums sparked by the most inconsequential things (a few from the long list: I peeled the banana incorrectly, the sun was in her eyes, she wanted to take the lid off her yoghurt).
Being a millennial mother of course I turned to Google for answers in the course of the past year. An ABC Online story told me my “maternal irritability” could be stirring up frequent tantrums and that half of all mothers who seek help with tantrum behaviours have mental health problem themselves “commonly depression and anxiety.” Of course we’re irritable, depressed and anxious, we have a tiny humans throwing spanners in most of our plans each and every day. Add to that the cacophony of set backs we each faced in 2020.
But my research also told me also how much my two year old had been taking on. I could see it myself. In less than twelve months Matilda’s vocabulary has widened, she can actually name how she’s feeling, she’s become better at swimming, scootering, running, playing on her own, sharing with her friends, helping around the house, using the toilet, washing her hands, the list could fill this entire publication.
The incessant questions are still there though. Sometimes we get so far down the “but why?” rabbit hole I get so stumped I can only laugh in reply. This makes her angry but at least now there are only tantrums about it half the time.
Illustration by Elisabeth McNair via Pinterest.
